Devotee's Question:

All Vaishnavism is based on the soul, body, material consciousness, and misconception about the false ego. If we want to advance in devotion, we are asked to give up all these concepts of "I" and "mine." To truly understand this, we need time and sincere practice without duplicity. However, I am not able to accept this philosophy because I don’t feel like it is a false identity. According to this philosophy, it feels impossible to live in the world. What do you want to see in me? What should I become?

You have told me to do bhajana. I am doing it as a duty and with some effort, but due to a lack of realization and faith, I cannot do it with full honesty.

Answer from Śrīla Gurudeva:

Śrīla Gurudeva said that Bhagavān Kṛṣṇa and His pure devotees are unbiased towards all. Lord Kṛṣṇa declares in the Bhagavad-gītā (6.40) that one who is without duplicity will never be cheated, and will never fall.

In the Śrī Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu, first wave (1.1.10), Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī defines pure devotion with the verse:

sarvopādhi-vinirmuktam...

Our Śrīla Gurudeva used to explain this verse in great depth. The phrase sarvopādhi-vinirmuktam means "freed from all material designations." In this world, we take on many temporary identities based on our karma—doctor, lawyer, businessman, engineer, etc.—as well as identities within the varṇāśrama system: brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya, śūdra; or the āśramas: brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, and sannyāsī. We also carry ego based on nationality, state, language, family lineage, political affiliation, or social group. All these identities are products of the material world and must be removed. This entire universe of 14 planetary systems is ultimately inauspicious—aviriñcitam amaṅgalam. If someone identifies as being part of this universe, they become impure and are unable to perform true devotion.

Yet, merely renouncing the idea of "I belong to this inauspicious universe" is not enough. Tataḥ paratvena nirmalam—we must recognize that we are not from this material realm; we belong to the Lord, who is fully auspicious and transcendental. When we realize this truth, we become pure.

As further proof, the Bhagavad-gītā explains that the gross and subtle bodies are part of Kṛṣṇa’s aparā-śakti (inferior energy), while the ātma (soul) comes from His parā-śakti (superior energy). The śakti (energy) is always meant to serve the śaktimān (the energetic source). In reality, God is the owner of our soul, as well as our gross and subtle body.We should give up all kinds of false ego and accept our true ego — that we belong to Sri Krishna. Whatever we do with our senses for Sri Krishna is called pure devotion (bhakti).

Bhaktistu bhagavad-bhakta-saṅgena parijāyate

(Bṛhad Nāradīya Purāṇa)

Bhakti manifests only by the association of pure devotees. One pure devotee is equal to a monk. Those who have accumulated pious activities (sukṛti) are able to obtain the association of devotees. When one knowingly or unknowingly serves the Lord or His devotees, he collects sukṛti, which actually affects the soul, allowing his real identity to manifest and leading him to search for the Supreme Truth.

Prahlāda Mahārāja clearly said that in this world, no conditioned soul — either by his own efforts or with the help of another conditioned soul — can perform bhakti to the Lord until he bathes in the foot dust of the Lord's devotees. He stated this while answering a question asked by his father, Hiraṇyakaśipu.Instead of making unfavorable efforts, we should give more importance to the favorable acts of bhakti. If we try to avoid the gross material body and material relationships, thoughts of them will still arise because we are focusing on them. However, by engaging in positive devotional activities, we naturally remember our true identity and our relationship with Sri Krishna and His devotees. As a result, all material thoughts disappear automatically.
If you can always remember the Lord and His devotees, you will become liberated from problems related to your entangling material relationships.

In the present situation, the conditioned soul cannot easily withdraw his mind from the deadly attractions of this world. Therefore, it is essential to associate with bona fide, liberated mahatma devotees. If you associate with people who are confused about their real identity and who are still attracted to material things, then it will be impossible for you to free yourself from false identification and deadly relationships.

Reference from Divye updesh (Hindi grath) : Nitya mangala kanshi 

Author : Shrila Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Goswami Maharaj Ji